You're getting some great feedback here, Liz, and I think the most important is for you and the kiddo to BREATHE a little. Enjoy the fact that SOME of the insanity is gone for SOME of the time. If you reinforce the fact that he's a worthwhile person, I have a feeling he will make out OK. He may have to learn some strategies to compensate for what he has trouble with, but that's where he will learn to be creative. My older son had extreme social anxiety and other issues in HS. He is ONE LOUSY CREDIT from his Associate's Degree--he needs a math credit and he's too embarrassed/resentful that they didn't teach him enough math at the Montessori public HS he attended to bother getting it. I've suggested a bunch of ways he could do it, but he's almost 29 now and it's his business at this point. If he doesn't want it, he doesn't have to do it. One of the privileges of adulthood. My first husband never got a degree either, and he had a successful career based on his hard work and excellent people skills.
Both of my kids I would consider "underemployed" given their intelligence and talents, but it's their lives to live. I can give suggestions if asked for help but I'm done stepping in to direct them without being asked. I'm proud of the people they've turned out to be, and that's enough.
