Work
Hi guys,
I was 210 days sober yesterday, hooray for me
I have been back to work for a month now and my manager and a HR rep met me today. It was a capability meeting.
My manager advised he feels he has done all he can to support me, but that he is concerned as to how the job is affecting my health and whether I'm able to perform at the required standard. He advised I was not at the required standard currently but when asked by the rep what areas I can improve in, he had no concrete information which confused me as I don't have anything to go away and reflect on.
Which translated to me as "now your back and have been back a month, we have to get past all this nonsense and you need to buck your ideas up"
I wouldn't say he (or they) were concerned at all. More like testing me to see if I'll throw the towel in. They want me to "go away and have a think about things"- I've been thinking, I HAD 4 MONTHS OFF TO THINK!!!
I can do the job, I've been doing it for 4.5 years but yet I apparently shouldn't be looking at promotion (which I want to get) but instead, look at how I can start performing in this job.
* sorry I was off for 4 months, and it's taking time to get my confidence back up, and sorry for having aspirations that don't involve just falling in line, shutting my mouth and rolling over like a dog and being a good worker *
I mentioned training and that I was unsuccessful with 3 promotion opportunities with no constructive feedback as to why I didn't get an interview. I was told I should of tried harder for the feedback- maybe I should of..........but it sounded like a cop out for a company that has in the past worked with integrity and good values, the least if expect is a call to say if not made the cut.
I get told there are upcoming people, people waiting in line for the jobs me and my colleagues have, that I should be fortunate to be earning what I am.
I don't know what I'm trying to say here. I think it's that my manager has put a good bit of distance between me and him and I have lost some respect for him today. I trusted him to support, he has, but now I'm on my own.
There are people working for this company that I know I could do just as good if not a better job at a higher level.
Do I need to change up my attitude? Is it me guys? Should I just be getting on with it?