Aww - you are never going to rationalize his actions, because you aren't capable of them. You have one great line of thinking regarding how relationships, trust and respect of another person should be. His line of thinking is COMPLETELY different than yours. That is OK.
Time to figure out why you want to mold him to think like you. Dig deep. About yourself, NOT about him.
Is it because you are angry at yourself for choosing the wrong guy?
Is it because you are scared of being alone?
Is it because you don't think you deserve better?
I ask, because I have to ask myself the same questions, and on the surface, I wouldn't think any of those are factors in my feelings about myself. But, when I dig deep... DAMN.
It is just as hard for us to own up to being sick as it is for them. For the same reason: because it is hard as hell to CHANGE ourselves and our habits.
He is wrong for you. You deserve someone that you don't want to change. He has the right to be who he is. You are growing, he is not growing at the same rate right now. I know that all sounds a bit parental and elementary, but it is all true, and sometimes, especially when WE are sick, we just need to go back to basics and the fundamentals of love.
This is NOT what you pictured for your ideal partner, way back when we weren't messed up about love. Sending you (((HUGS))) and PEACE and Strength!