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Old 05-18-2015, 08:33 AM
  # 338 (permalink)  
ZaBoozer
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
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Originally Posted by Olivia2011 View Post
Hi ZAB ! Leave it to me to accidentally send from my iPhone before I was done! Anyway, what is/are some of your favorite self-help/meditation books? I read Alan Carr's How to Quit Drinking (The Easy Way). It was good, common sense info. Then I read Being Sober by the guy from the Betty Ford Center. It was very good also. I've read The Big a book and such. I enjoy your posts, as well as others. I just can't figure out why I can't quit drinking! You make it look so easy! My husband and I both are workaholics and alcoholics. I was an electrical designer for 28 years. Surprisingly, it's just wine for us (used to be beer a long time ago). I'm just so tired of it. I tried AA in 2007 and loved it. It worked for four months. Then I tried again about a year ago. It didn't do anything for me this time. I feel that I live an honest life, with God as my higher power, make amends as needed (and try to keep my mouth shut so I don't have to make the amends). I guess maybe I'm not going "deep" enough. I don't know. I feel like I earn my wine but boy once I start, I can't stop! Anyway, I plan on reading and reading until something clicks or I go for some kind of outpatient treatment. Treatment is all fine but it's got to be me that wants to quit. I have to decide to quit. Words are words from treatment people. My son has been though treatment a couple times for booze. Anyway, I will quit rambling here. Thanks for your posts.
Hi Olivia,

Thanks for the kind words. The following is a list of the self help books I have read. It does not mean that I follow everything in them - I take what I need and discard what doesn't work for me.
  • Stop drinking now
  • A man's way - the twelve steps
  • Monkey on my shoulder
  • Real meditation for real alcoholics
  • Okay, I quit now what
  • Don't let the bastards grind you down

I am going to take it as a compliment that I make it look easy. The physical act of stopping or not drinking is as easy and as second nature as breathing. It is all the other after effects that take some working on. Some of them are physical, some mental and some emotional. These are the difficult things that we need to work on. For me it is simple - I need to address the issues that cause me to drink.

I am not an AA person. Don't get me wrong, if it works for you great. I am too analytical and therein lies my problem. I have to make sense of the things myself. I am not going to dig out everyone in my past that I feel I may have wronged - that will never wash with me. My belief is that we make amends by living the lessons we have learnt from the past. Yes we have made mistakes, the trick is to try not do them again. If I had to go back and make amends to everyone I have wronged - a whole lot of husbands would put bullet holes in me (they weren't husbands at the time).

You have hit the nail right on the head - it has got to be you that wants to stop. Stopping for someone else is not going to be a long term solution. You seem to be sincere in your wish for this. I am no expert, but I knew where the bottle was taking me. I was drinking before work, during work and after work. All this because I could not face the situation with my wife. At one stage - I didn't even care if I lost my job. Eventually, I just couldn't handle being hammered 24/7. There was just too much risk and physically I knew that it was only a matter of time before my body gave out on me.

I have given a list of self help books. I am into running, but these are some motivational books that may help. Even if you're not into running, it is the principle of what they did. These people managed to drag themselves back from the gutter.
  • Out there - A story of ultra recovery
  • Run or die
  • Run
  • Ultra marathon man
  • Finding ultra
  • Running on empty

You are not rambling. It is therapeutic to get things off your chest. Once again, many thanks for the post. I really do appreciate all the posts as it motivates me and encourages me to "keep on keeping on" as the Americans say.

Best of luck to you and your husband. I know you can do it - if you want to do it. Stick close to SR, there are a great bunch of people out there. Maybe, start your own post?

Cheers,

Craig (aka ZAB)
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