Last week I got horribly drunk and did a lot of cocaine with a friend of mine while my girlfriend was in New Hampshire visiting her mother for mother's day. We had been fighting quite a bit and I thought I'd just go out for a little while and have some fun... I went way too far. Halfway through the night my phone shut off and I didn't bother to turn it back on or try to contact her on anyone else's phone even though I know her number by heart. Our relationship had been rocky and me doing that should have been the last straw. She didn't dump me and has given me a chance to sober up and prove to her that I love her and am willing to make an effort to change. I haven't touched any drugs and had one beer while in her presence. I feel fantastic, I've been working out and taking vitamins as well as avoiding any fights with her. At first it was a little rough cause I was going through a bit of depression and anxiety because I didn't have drugs or alcohol to fall back on. I have a history of abandonment and women problems so my attitude in this relationship had been very poor up until this point. I had questioned her about her past and judged her unfairly I suppose... Meanwhile I had done horrible things and went on a bender when we first started semi-dating and hooked up with another girl. She has forgiven me for everything and I don't understand why. I guess she may be the one haha. But, I am working toward something special and feel like I can finally start my life and stop punishing myself.
