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Old 05-17-2015, 02:38 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Mysusnshine1
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 108
Originally Posted by Verte View Post
I once took a class with Dr. Fred Luskin about forgiveness, based on his book Forgive for Good. He talked extensively about his relationship/feud with his MiL; longstanding, maybe 15 years. Eventually he narrowed the gap between his expectations for his MiL's behavior and the reality and was able to find harmony.

Kind of like he was not going to suddenly be the choice son in-law and his Mil was going to behave in a certain way regardless...so he rejiggered a working relationship that reflected the reality and not his disdain and disappointed expectations. Does this make any sense at all?

In short, Change your expectations from her as a mil to reflect her reality and of what she is (not) capable. I definitely could not tolerate a 45 minute rave from anyone's MiL - I would have to walk away. Geez. That's nuts.

Hang in there. It sounds like your MiL has some complicated emotions with regards to her son/your husband. Good for you for not drinking!
What an wonderful suggestion. I'm going to look up his book now. I'm just one of those people who wears her heart on there sleeve and seeks approval from everyone. I have always been that way.
Unfortunately leaving the situation was not an option at the time.

I have laid down some ground rules that I believe with help with future encounters. In all honesty, she isn't the wicked witch of the west. She has always been someone I've respected as a single mother who stopped at nothing to make sure her children were cared for, loved and provided for. Actual taking a step back she came from a horrible up bringing and just hates seeing her kids make some of the mistakes she already made.

I did stay strong and have and no AV cravings since yesterday. We even spent the rest of the day with her, showing her around our new home city.
Longer repost than I expected, but wanted to thank you all for the support!
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