EndGameNYC

Your anger is what keeps you attached in a very powerful way to those who mistreat and abuse you. For some people, the anger is repressed so as not to deal with it in any meaningful way. No one wants to admit or to feel as though they've been abused. In either instance, resentment builds as we continue to degrade ourselves, suffering continuing abuse even when, and often worse than when, the other person isn't there.

Our anger is often grounded in our refusal to accept the fact that others will not accept us as who we are or who otherwise refuse to behave in a manner that suits us. Anger is about not getting what we want; rage is about not getting what we want and still wanting it.

Forgiveness is a process that not always, but often, begins with a decision to no longer allow other people to mistreat us. But it doesn't end there. Saying that I forgive someone without the necessary shift in feelings is nothing more than compliance...acting as though and/or telling ourselves we are a certain way, a way we convince ourselves that we are supposed to be, without matching the honesty of our feelings.

The process of forgiveness is often mediated by detaching from abusive others, physically and emotionally, and instead working to forgive ourselves for what we've allowed others to do to us, or for what we've done to ourselves.

Pretty much what Anna said.