Welcome home, Kamie. Be active here with us every day and you'll find the strength it takes to make it through this. I used to feel (like you said) that I didn't have a dependency on alcohol cause I could do without it without having DT's. There are other dependencies that are just as compelling and I was very much dependent on alcohol. Not to drink every day, but to drink weekly. And when I drank, I always drank more than I planned to.
You're doing the right thing. You've come to the right place. This is the judgment free zone. Vent all you want! We can take it. God bless you.