Originally Posted by
MarathonMan 
Hey freeowl - she's gone to bed now so I can sit and watch telly for a few hours, calm down and think how best to tackle the situation. I hope it came across in my last post that I dont blame or judge her for the bitterness she's harbouring, just need to work out a way to move forward. Her main problem is she's scared i'll fail and this argument gave her a bit of power over something she feels totally powerless over....if that makes sense.
tomorrow won't be too late for a little compassion.
You might try simply saying 'I understand how you would feel fearful of my relapsing again. Your fears and concerns make sense. I don't want that and I'm going to do everything and anything to stay sober. I love you, our little family, and the life we have together... And I'm committed to doing all I can to help it flourish.'
Sometimes, what our loved ones need is simply to hear their concerns and fears seen, and to be met with love and understanding and assurance.... It can be hard for us to give them... We react, we defend, we get mad... But what we need just as badly as them is love... Understanding... Support. Sometimes we need to set our own need aside for a while to meet them, and sometimes what we find then is that a door opens to healing....
Hang in there man and be compassionate - with her and with yourself