.....several nightmare benders, actually but this one was the kicker.
So after thinking I didn't need help anymore despite it always being painfully obvious I do need help and support, I am back again on this forum.
The last month has been HELL. And a blurr. And I have succeeded in almost becoming homeless (I was in a shelter for two days), almost going to jail, losing my relationship (this may have happened anyway), ending up in hospital on several occasions including a very well known center for mental health issues and addictions, but most of all hurting people around me and scaring the living crap out of myself and severely re-traumatizing myself. It seems the more scared I get the more I drank and the worse it got.
And Wow. The lies I have spewed surrounding drinking....just Wow. And the manipulation and drama.
And so now I am coming up with a treatment plan. I am going to see my psychologist today to see what my best route for treatment might be. And I must follow through....not just start it and do it for a short time. In the past I have been the QUEEN of no follow through.
Thanks for reading.