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Old 05-15-2015, 09:46 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
thotful
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 350
I felt some anger the other day as well. My best friend (who probably isn't even a friend anymore) did not even call me back when I left a message on his phone about my wife's pregnancy. Nothing at all.

We posted on facebook about it. Nothing at all.

Friends of the family post about their pregnancy. He instantly responds with congratulations, smiley-face emoticon.

I had a flare of anger and almost unfriended and blocked him on facebook. I didn't though.

Just because my friend is treating someone else better (or engaging in a relationship with them and not me), doesn't mean I deserve it. Of course, I don't necessarily "not deserve it" either. There are no "musts" or "shoulds" or "have tos" in this world. My friend has made his choice and so has your ex.

The way people treat us is far more about them than it is about us.

You are not faulty.
You are not to blame.
You are worthy of equal treatment, love, respect, all of that good stuff.

Feeling jealous seems normal to me. I felt that the other day.

My wife said that I need to learn to let go of my friend. That I'm not in control of him.

I need to accept the feelings of rejection, abandonment, jealousy, etc. I don't like them, but I'm not in control of them. I'm only in control of how I respond.

I guess I'm trying to accept the love, respect, and kindness I get from others, instead of trying to force that very stuff on the relationships that didn't work out.

I'm sorry they seem to be treating someone else better. It sounds like it hurts.
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