Originally Posted by
RobbyRobot 
Awesome on your 39 days and counting.
You know, AA says its a god of your own understanding. For me, I didn't understand god much, and I used that for my first dozen meetings or so until I got my feet wet and learned just how many others also didn't understand god, lol.
Since god allowed me to drink, I figured he would also not care if I sobered up either. As for did god exist, I had no idea. I'm still agnostic about god, even though I'm a believer now, decades later. I do know this. it wasn't my belief or non-belief in god which kept me drunk or got me or keeps me sober.
AA helped me a lot with its program. And of course talking with others who were chronic alcoholics like me. Nothing beats talking things over with a few guys who know what is what.
I hope you don't become too dismayed about AA. In any case, its not the only game in town any more. There are plenty of other choices which lead to solid sobriety.
Wish you the best MM
Hey Robby,
Hate to sound like im moaning all the time when some people have real problems. I like AA and have gone every day so far. I think more what I was saying is that I need to just treat it as a meeting of alkies having a chat.....i dont think the steps are for me. I said something similar to the chap at the meeting who offered to sponser me. He gave me a bit of a sad smile when I said it and I could see I became a relapse time bomb in his eyes. Just took the wind outn of my sails. Im no where near done with AA just a bit of a tough one today. I also appreciate it was very nice of the man to come talk to me and did tell him I appreciated it.