I binge drank on Sunday night with a friend. I knew it was a mistake but I did it anyways. Its now tuesday and I am so paranoid and anxious that I feel like I'm losing my grip here. All I'm doing is digging into my upper abdomen checking for an enlarged liver. Now its hurting on my right side. Its probably hurting because I've been freaking digging into my right side with my hand for 2 days now!!! But my anxious brain is saying "Nope, its hurting because you ruined your liver by drinking" I know the anxiety increases sensations of pain but I can't snap myself out of this paranoid state. I'm just sitting here waiting to die from liver failure, heart attack, and a stroke. Like any moment, I'm going to die.
I cannot believe how much alcohol screws with my mind now. When will I reach the breaking point and just give up on the drink once and for all? Why am I so scared to lose it forever? This sucks. I'm stuck between drinking and not drinking...AND BOTH TERRIFY ME
