Originally Posted by
LBrain 
... I made my "Big Plan". Saying it and living it (proving it) are two different things in my mind. When I said it, I meant it. And I was not concerned about failure. I was as cool as a cucumber when I declared it. But if I were to just assume that by saying something and doing nothing else... The old cliche', actions speak louder than words.
I like your incomplete sentence which I highlighted above. But I like it for a different reason. It sums up in about as short a sentence as I've ever seen, the exact potency of what The Big Plan truly means for me. "...DOING nothing else..." Immediately following making my Big Plan, the chill factor involved those exact three words. This was going to work and my life was going to change because even though I was going to have thoughts and feelings, I was going to be
DOING nothing else regarding alcohol/drugs, then much later caffeine/chocolate, then more recently manmade sweets.
When I made those Big Plans, I was at a particular peak of emotional intensity and chill factor. Then - it was done - like when Neo lies prostrate and plugged into the mainframe at the end of the last Matrix movie and the mainframe bellows out "It is done." I chose to remove any future choice about drinking. I feel there is nothing to prove to myself and I know it is impossible to prove it to others.
The "rationality" of the "Big Plan" is that it goes up against an irrational bodily appetite, The Beast, "Feed me as if life depended upon it" with what turns out to be an irrational plan. Yes, the Big Plan is irrational. No matter what the future may bring, I will never drink again - clearly irrational. Fight fire with fire. Using irrationality against irrationality makes sense to me. That's rational in overview, my rational recovery.
I like the name "Big Plan" because it emphasizes what I believe is its ONLY big feature. The Big Plan lasts until the end of time. That's a big, big, big, continuous string of days. That sole big feature is its true value.
All other features of the Big Plan are actually quite small, as I understand it. And these small features also have great value for me.
1 - It takes a very tiny amount of time to make the Big Plan. Making the Big Plan is an event, not a process.
While there is a lot of trial and error before making it, making it can take as few as five seconds. "I will never drink again". There will be Beast activity following those five seconds, and it will come and go and fade over time, but having made the Big Plan, that Beast activity is rendered impotent - no crossroads - no choices.
2 - It ends what was a very tiny range of behavior, swallowing alcohol.
3 - It takes a very small amount of intelligence to understand...
a. what it means.
b. that I can make it only once.
c. that I can't lie to myself about having made it.
4 - It takes an extremely small amount of energy to make a Big Plan; the calories one burns while at rest for five seconds.
5 - It takes the very smallest cost to make a Big Plan, zero cents.
6 - There is a very, very tiny chance that I will ever unknowingly swallow alcohol especially in an amount that would mean anything since it has such a noticeable taste, and it would have to happen one inch from my nose, and three inches from my eyes, and involve bringing something to my mouth with my hand and opening my mouth and consciously swallowing something.