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Old 05-12-2015, 05:47 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
OpioPhobe
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Western NY
Posts: 1,209
Creekryder - I have mulled over the same thing many times in the past. At the end of the day I decided that I had to make a personal decision as to what I can live with and what I can't. Nicotine is the one active addiction that I would like to kick, but haven't done so at this point. There are plenty of rationalizations I could give about why the time isn't right, but it really comes down to the fact that I want to smoke more than I want to quit. I do believe that I will get sick and tired of it within say the next year. This was the case during the last two times that I eliminated active drug use from my life. If it turns out that I don't get sick and tired of it enough to quit then I will just have to accept it.

Caffeine is something that I can live with even if I think of myself as being addicted to it.

With both of these substances, I don't have the same compulsion that I did with my 'problem' drug(s) though. I don't get a buzz from them that in any way reminds me of past drug use. However, a substance like alcohol I definitely must avoid. I saw first hand that my addiction found fertile soil with alcohol last summer despite the fact that it had not been the case in the past. Even before that situation I viewed alcohol differently than caffeine and nicotine. The buzz from alcohol reminded me of the past drug use in a way that nicotine and caffeine never did. In that sense, I would view moderate alcohol consumption as more detrimental than using caffeine daily in a way that more closely fits an 'addictive' pattern. I have no interest in moderate alcohol consumption either way.

I don't view the 'addictive' part of my personality as all bad either. For me, I see that part of me as a driver to go all out with certain aspects of my life. When I was working long hours right out of school I could have likely qualified as a 'workaholic', but it was what I wanted to do at the time. Harnessing that drive for a good aspect of my life gave me a leg up on my peers. That drive was the same one that allowed me to truly immerse myself in certain subjects in school too. I think if I completely eradicated that part of myself I would lose an important part of myself. Whether it is even possible to eradicate that part of one's personality is another question altogether.

My vote would be for channeling it towards something positive in one's life rather than eradication. There are a lot of folks that look at addiction as something akin to a curse, but channeling it to something positive may give us the advantage of being able to enjoy and engage ourselves in an activity to a degree that a non-addict never could. I just wanted to curb the drug use that was way outside of any semblance of control. That was something I couldn't live with.
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