Stress
Thanks for the responses . Well actually, it's not anything in the past that is holding me back. I am getting over some things. It's whats ahead of me that's the problem. That's always the problem. No matter what I try to do, they keep on sending me backwards.
What do I want today? Nothing. Today i have to ring around 3 court offices and a solicitors office ( who treats me as subhuman even though i have been nothing but jovial towards her) and compose emails to the same effect. I'm totally stressed out by this thing
And I have to reply to some comments on a legal discussion board about my case where everyone is saying 'this is outrageous, why is this happening' etc. And I don't know the answer to that but this thing has been going around in circles since last November for me.
And I don't want to be doing that, much like anybody else. I just wish the process would just infold as it should, or in a manner that most people don't find 'outrageous' and 'unfair'. I had good faith last year that it would do and once again my good faith has been abused.
I'm not even allowing myself to feel those things but it is wearing me down. Disenfranchised demoralized and dehumanized are some words. I wish that the process would unfold or have unfolded in a manner that wasn't extremely unfair (it's just another example of this)
And the reason I wish it would unfold in a fair manner, like other things I sought help with, is that I wouldn't have that hugely stressful thing hanging over me. That I could sit down and actually do the things you mentioned, as I was instructed to years ago. If that makes sense?