Well, maybe my husband is an anomaly, but he hates it when I draw any attention to his drinking or lack thereof. And, like you, I don't want to be his sitter. So every now and then I try to say a quick "proud of you". If he's in a mood to talk he will, and if not he just says "thank you".
My H is still dealing with a lot of guilt, shame and self hatred about his drinking though.
H said the whole one day at a time thing for him was to break it into doable chunks. He can't imagine being sober for a lifetime, but he can do it for 24 hours. And then another 24. And another. Every day is a decision to stay sober. He doesn't count days tho because of that darn guilt and shame. I wish he'd move past it.