Thanks Pipping- that's exactly how I have been feeling recently, very scared and panicy. You're right that it's no way to live. I hope this journey will help me mentally to feel calmer. It sounds silly but I always thought about the physical effects of alcohol much more than the psychological effects. Naïve I know but so true for many people. I think yesterday night was a wake up call that I needed and I've never had that fear before. I have 'coped' with feel hungover physically but the mental side is not something I've faced before.
thanks again