Originally Posted by
strangeangel 
Starting over and being better seems impossible. All I'm going to do is screw up again. I feel absolutely lost and devastated. I just don't want to go on any longer if I have to live my life this way
It may look insurmountable now - it did to me too.
But the fact is the root of all your problems is your drinking strangeangel - if you accept that and work on it I guarantee you that eventually all the other parts of your life will start to fall into place
D