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Old 05-09-2015, 10:28 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
QuietToday
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Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 136
I just finished week 1, and really my only plan is "Stop!"

Being sober for a week now has finally cooled me down from the great embarassment I had from when I last drank. During this whole week it has plagued and bothered me, and it did so even after I apologized about what I'd done, and even became friendly with that person I'd made a fool of myself in front of again. Still bothered me all the way up until day 5.

But now I can look at that memory not with guilt or shame (self-deprecation is a serious trigger for me), and instead with clarity and past-tense comprehension.
I've made a real a$$ of myself with drinking, and it's something I don't want to do anymore. So when I get an urge for a drink now I just think to my past, recall those moments of shame, and can coolly realize that I don't want to do that anymore.
I'm a young adult, but I'm just about a kid because I've used drinking as a way to continue acting inappropriately and child-like. It's horrifying and regressive, and I'm ready to leave that behind and mature and evolve as an intelligent and capable person.

I know many people just want to snip off the memories of their drinking and move on, but for me being able to recall those moments, to reflect upon that heinous person I become and the things I do as that person, fortifies my decision for sobriety.

It's a somewhat dangerous plan though. You see on SR a lot of posts that go, "Sober life is terribly boring." This is totally not true, but for many when they choose sobriety they begin to romanticize drinking, and so the memories they can dig up are either false, or those very few glimmers of a "good time" with it.
This is a fast track to relapse, so I don't know--- it's not a plan for everybody, but if you've control over self-reflection I'll say this has worked very well for me.
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