Dee 74: I'm fine, I guess, still a little bummed about taking to drinking again, yesterday, but I'm managing.
The biggest problem is that I'm prone to obsession, where I completely lose myself in something/someone interesting and it makes me happy for a while, but then as I find out more, I get depressed. I know this makes little sense, but I'm really bothered by the little things.
Also, I think I'm someone who always wants to see instant improvement referring to e.g.: my mental health. And then when it doesn't get there soon enough, I give up, as I always believe I'm never getting better again. And I know, I do KNOW more drinking is bad and it doesn't solve squad, yet at that time, I'm so lost, I'm like: screw it!
To top that: my sister has made remarks to me twice, accusing me of being drunk when I wasn't, which made me feel awful. I think it's because I like to cover up how I feel, with humor and cheerfulness, since everyone is tired of my nagging. But yeah: apparently I seem high and weird, even when I'm stonecold-sober and then when the latest blow has struck me: I'm like: what's the point? I'm already messed-up.
Also, I have an alarming lack of hobbies, which means I spent most of my time being bored, as I'm depressed and not wiling to get into anything.
So yeah, sorry for another rant. I just wanted to give an honest answer to your question.