Originally Posted by immri

Just checking in, hope everyone's doing well I've had an emotional week - graduation, a job opportunity, had a very honest and clear conversation with my ex (and after I have to see him today regarding work we will then have no contact), had a bit of a huge freakout about my future and considered drinking for the third time this week, and now I'm having to dramatically change my diet (I eat quite well I thought but apparently I have some intolerance to a lot of what I consume, so big overhaul!) Im learning a lot about myself lately. I think I'm definitely finding myself more likely to drink/wanting to drink when I get good news rather than bad - with the job opportunity it was too overwhelming and exciting that I thought I should drink to calm myself down. Not even to celebrate, just that too happy or excited freaks me out a bit. Maybe I'm afraid I'll be disappointed so I try to calm myself down before I crash? I'm not sure. All I know is I've been doing that since I was 14 so I'm realising I've never really experienced normal highs and lows I've also been getting better at telling people my honest needs and not putting up with being manipulated and pushed around, which is a big change. I still have a long way to go though. Anyway, I find it really helpful to check in with this stuff here, thanks for being here guys