I think at times I have to look at why I want it to turn out my way.
Most, if not all, of the time I want it that way because A) I benefit or B) I think it will make my life easier to live or a combination of the two.
Looking at the selfishness involved in wanting things to go my way helped me a great deal. After a while I stopped trying to make everything go my way, I stopped trying to have everything and everybody sway in my direction to make my life easier or so that I could benefit while they suffered.
I found that not trying to control everything was actually the answer to making my life easier. The stress was gone, the scenario building was gone, the fretting about this and that was gone, the worry was gone and if things did not work out the way I had hoped the sky did not fall and the oceans did not dry up. It happened the way it was supposed to happen with no interference from me.
The hard part after all that was accepting it. When I stopped trying to prove that I had the power, I found the power to control me and only me.
It then became clear that was all the power and control I really ever had. I can only truly control myself, my actions and my reactions. Everything else, is not mine to control. I was free.
Now I still have days I try and take that control back. I get frustrated with work, at the company and other coworkers, I get frustrated at the man driving to slow in front of me. I get frustrated because every single light on the way home on a Friday afternoon must turn red seconds before I get to it, it is a conspiracy!
But today, I can take a breath, know I am not in control, I am trying to take that control back and let it go again.
Progress, not perfection. I don’t think will ever be so serene that things in life won’t ever bother me but I will get better at letting it get me angry or upset and I will let it go faster. I am already better at it than I was two years ago so I think that is progress.