I understand where you're coming from. When I was first here, I was struggling a bit and it was very hard when I kept seeing people relapsing. One night, I pretty much was like, "well everyone else is getting to have fun while I'm struggling being sober over here," and decided to drink. When I thought about things after the relapse, I realized my sobriety was up to me. It didn't matter if the whole world was getting drunk. If I wanted to be sober, it was me that had to keep myself sober.