Good evening all,
It is the end of day thirty for me. I am lying here watching the fire. Nice and cosy. To the business.
Physically I am tired. The fatigue set in around 12:30 today. By home time I was really shattered. I am hoping for a good sleep tonight. The numbness in the cheek is still absent. I will monitor this. My headache got worse on the way home, so I took something for it. My muscles feel good, although I had a rest day today. Other than these few niggles, I think the physical symptoms of withdrawal are almost gone.
Mentally it was not really a challenge for me today. I didn't have to think much. Human interaction is easier, but there was really no stimulation today.
Emotionally it was one of those roller coaster days. I will be happy to put it behind me. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Today was just one of those time out days. Nothing went according to plan. My AV was more noticeable today in the sense that the b@stard visited me regularly. There was no physical craving. I did drink too much coffee and not enough water. I didn't eat. And yes, the loneliness continued to kick me in the pit of my stomach the whole day. So I know what caused the AV, H an L. Not much I can do about L at the moment. I also suspect that the caffeine stimulates something in me that is not good. I will have to guard against this.
I did not do any work on the book today. I was just not up for it I guess. A day off in more ways than one. I am going to try reading some more on this meditation book. I hope the guy gets to the point soon. I am getting bored with the disclaimers and anti sales pitch. Maybe I am just too tired or feeling too down at the moment. I need to motivate myself some and to pull myself out of this rut. There is a lot to be thankful for, and I need to see the positives more than the negatives. I can see that this is another thing that I am going to need to learn how to deal with.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAb