I am glad you're back Unixbear. I am not sure what to tell you, other than I've been there. With my very last relapse (almost 6 months ago now), I had just gotten past the cravings and decided I was going to drink since I mistakenly thought I was past the cravings after ~2 weeks of sobriety. All it did was stir up all those cravings all over again. All that hard work I had put in had to be repeated. I realized if I didn't break the cycle, it was going to be a repeat of that miserable experience every single time. After that experience, I decided I didn't want to go through that ever again and it made me stronger for it. I hope you find the same.
