Scantysolstice--are you a reader? I ask because I'm reading books like Im eating chocolate (which is to say I'm doing a fair amount of both Lol) about women like me--people who's drinking was making them feel bad and do things they weren't proud of but that maybe seemed fine to outsiders...like they were "party girls" or "liked their wine" they talk about how much better their lives are now without booze and how they really were alcoholics even if it wasn't what people or they thought/want to see. I find it encouraging to see myself in these women bc it makes it seem really worth it to quit and stop justifying. My current one is called "unwasted: my lush sobriety" but I finished "high bottom: letting go of Vodka and Chardonnay" last night and thought it was helpful too
. Good luck and stay in touch