Damn....
Both your story and your girlfriends are worse than the stories of my own life, so I'd be out of line to try and tell you how to focus on the goodness instead of the terrible.
That said, I have found in my life that during the worst of times, I've found peace and freedom and growth in finding the good things and letting them carry me through with a belief in life's gifts.
I've also heard, read and been exposed to many a story of people in far worse situations than my own echoing those same things.
Is there anything you might find in your life, or encourage your girlfriend to find in hers - that offers you hope and inspiration for gratitude?
May you both find more peaceful mindspace.....
