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Old 05-06-2015, 06:58 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
AGAGONNHOJ
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by SarahCantSleep View Post
I really appreciate y'all being honest with me. When I was writing this post, I was lot in it so I know that I wasn't just saying whatever sounded best. And after hearing yalls feedback and reading my post again, I see that I am blaming everyone else. This is strange for me because I thought I had already come to the realization it was all my bad decisions and actions that caused my problems but after seeing this, maybe I haven't really accepted full responsibility for my situation. I have to make peace with all of these mistakes bc it hurts to think I could be so self destructive. Thank you guys.
As VW said, I think you've taken a huge step towards recovery. Coming onto a forum such as this one, and admitting you have a problem, being honest, and taking the criticism on board, is such a huge step I don't even know where to begin. Makes me feel so happy you're here now.

Its getting over the denial stage that is so often the hardest first obstacle. When I was at my worst, I convinced myself that it was totally 100% normal to skip out of school, buy a beer, then drive out of town to chug it somewhere in the countryside. Make up excuses such as "I need a 'hair of the dog' to help me get over the hangover from yesterday" etc.

It's the difference between people like us and my Aunt, who is nearly 60, been drinking heavily her whole life, emaciated, exhibiting all the signs of heavy alcoholic psychosis, bouts of depression, mania, extreme paranoia, aggression etc, and who recently tried to break off contact with the rest of my family, to avoid paying back the nearly half a million pounds she'd taken from Grandma (who, before her mind degenerated due to dementia, signed over power of attorney over to her.

She's already got serious health problems, and is in 100% denial about her drinking: "The doctors told me that dry martini isn't a harmful drink - even in vast quantities, because I use lots of ice to water it down". Just as she is about many other things in her life.

Please, Please, Please keep posting on here, let us know how you're doing etc. There's so much support on here, I've found this website beyond invaluable, it's one of the main reasons I've made so much progress in getting back my sobriety and my health over the last few months.

Huge love xxxxxxxx
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