You mention that you're not as sick as you were in May. While I don't know what happened then, if you continue, you could end up just as ill, if not more ill.
I always thought I would have some kind of epiphany as well or that my desire to drink would go away too, but it did not. I had to commit to being sober and then do the work and deal with the discomfort. Ultimately it's up to us whether we break or stay in that cycle. The madness won't stop until you decide it's going to stop. Please commit to breaking that cycle today and get some help.
