Hi Laura ,
Saying no is a powerful tool , so is coming to post on SR before you pick up the drink …
A lot of people seek support after they drink and not before ..
I think i read something clever by Nonsencical the other day " normal drinkers don't have a voice in their heads telling them they are ".
Certainly seems to me whatever program or resource you decide to commit to, to get help, it might be worth learning to identify and separate yourself from "the alcoholic voice" .
Take care , m