I drank to numb the pain for a long time. Every time I would try to quit horrible memories and emotions would come up ,and I would drink again. But the past 15 days without drinking I have had to face them, and I have come to realize that it is the only way to ever get over the hurt, and pain. I too am going to see a therapist, because a lot of my problems I do not know how to handle. Forgetting is not an option though. What happened in our pasts is something we will have to live with. So my way of thinking is that even though it is difficult I might as well face them head on and deal with the emotions, because if not they will just linger, and cripple me forever. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me. I wish you the best.