All of the support here means a lot to me. Today, the AV has been LOUD, roaring actually. I finally stopped and realized it's most likely because I have counseling tomorrow. It's the first step in what will be a painful but healing process. I'm ripping off the band-aid and it's going to hurt so much. I wanted to run from that.
Instead, I went running. I did 2.5 miles, ran most of it. I am sweaty, red in the face, a little sore but feel good.
The idea of drinking is still in my brain. But I'm posting here. It's just a thought, not a demand. I keep telling myself that. And realizing where it's coming from helps as well.
Thank for you giving me this space to get it out. Now I'm off to catch my breath.