Finally Done
I can’t take it anymore. All the red flags have been there as to my drinking. And I’ve continued to sail right by all the warnings. I’ve read some of the posts in regard to the losses people have experienced from drinking….family, jobs, reputation, etc……. If I ever needed an incentive to stop it would be that.
I’m sick of what I’m doing to my wife, my family, and my church. I have spent years concealing a drinking problem that unfortunately became public (to family and a few other people) last year when I was hospitalized with a BAC of over 3. I have a great job, a great family and am well respected in my community and church and I continue to flirt with disaster. I could safely keep and preserve all of those things if I could only stop. Most people around me would be shocked to know the real truth. My motivation to quit is measuring the loss of what could happen if I don’t quit.
My wife assumes that I’m not drinking and I’ve been successful in hiding that from her. I’m tired of living a lie and just want to be done. How can such an irrational idiotic behavior jeopardize my entire life (rhetorical question)?
I’m in my early 50’s and have drinking for close to 35 years. It became heavy in my early 20’s and kind of settled down until the last few years. I’m rarely (if ever) intoxicated in public or at social events. My habit is to secretly drink while sitting around the house with the family. 99% of the time I concealed that without them ever knowing. But in recent times that has increased to the point where my wife and adult daughter have found me in a state of drunken stupor. Don’t know what possesses me to want to wreck an enjoyable time with family by draining ½ a bottle of Vodka but I’ve been doing that for a while.
I’m hoping that by coming clean on the SR forum will provide a deeper foundation to my desire and day 1 (May 4 2015) resolution to stay sober. Your prayers and support are greatly coveted.
I’ve been reading the boards for a while but I thought it was time to make my first post.