Opio you are amazing!
One thing I noticed about life is it has a way of changing a person's strong opinion's of things. Or at least it has mine. What I once thought was a certain way...like what you said about divorce and people who divorce. It's like life forces us to see things for what they really are. I've had lots of misconceptions about things that ended up being proved wrong. So you are not the only one who's had to change their ideas/opinions. Life has a way of knocking down our ego too. (For lack of a better way to say it.) I blamed my addiction on others in my life too, until I realized how wrong I was. Sure stress came from others...but the choice to pop pills was mine and mine alone.
Lots of good thinking going on opio. So true what you said about your kids and your need to "never break your oaths". Their lives and future mean so much more.
I know you are still beating yourself up for this latest relapse. But I think there are lessons you've learned and just maybe this experience has cemented your recovery in a way it wasn't before? Just my thoughts on it.
As always, glad you've checked in.