Thread: Relapse
View Single Post
Old 05-02-2015, 06:01 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
MIRecovery
A Day at a Time
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by lighter View Post
Hi all, I'm an alcoholic. I also haven't gotten drunk for a little over six years..

But I feel I am on the verge of a relapse.

In fact, emotionally I have relapsed. I just haven't taken the first drink yet...

You know that concept of "The Bottom"? Well, it turns out that for me the bottom that I experienced when I gave up drink was a party compared to where I am now...

My grandmother is dying, and currently having discourses with Goblins coming out of the wall due to the medicine she is on. My mother is agoraphobic and depressed. By nephew tried to kill himself last week, to the point that the doctors said he was braindead to my brother (they were wrong). By sister thinks I'm a worthless SOB. I'm unemployed, depressed and really seriously thinking about that first drink again for the first time in six years. And I've not got the energy or hope to work anything like a program.

I can feel a F**k it coming on.
Many here know of my struggles with depression since my daughter's death last July. Many also know that I have stayed sober.

You may find this post of value
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5107137

or you can do do a search for my screen name and the keyword daughter to follow my journey and how I continue to stay sober during days darker than I could ever imagined in my worst nightmare

I truly am sorry for your pain and I wish I had a magical answer but the answer I do have is this. What you are dealing with other people call life and they deal with the pain without destroying themselves. Is it easy? No it is not but it can be done.

Feel free to PM me if you wish to talk. Prayers going out to you
MIRecovery is offline