With you in spirit, justin. You're not alone. Keep on saying no to that first drink, if you are out in those situations that make you want to pick it up. (I've been there too, still am, still spending most time at home.) The first drink is the easiest one to say no to. Play the tape through. I'd be willing to bet the anxiety and depression we both feel will be way worse if we have that first drink... and then of course, all the drinks that follow. It's a hard road. Everyone one above me gives great advice. We're here for you. xo