Jeff, you deserve better. I know it doesn't seem possible but after some sober time, stress is much easier to deal with sober than drunk.
Most of us here with any sober time under their belt never thought that a life of not drinking was possible. I know I didn't, until I found SR. Took me many day 1's and lot of commitment, but there is nothing better than enjoying life sober... the ups and downs.
You have the strength to make this change for you. We are here when ever you need help getting out of a funk. Next time let us try before you start drinking. We can help.