Originally Posted by
Jillian2563 So I don't even know where to start. I've been attempting sobriety for a while now. Once in 2011, then starting again over a year ago with no success. Then I was sober for the whole month of March. Now I'm back at day two.
. But I want to drink.
I KNOW that I cannot drink in moderation. I know that if I continue to drink, my quality of life will not improve. But still I want to drink.
I don't know where to go from here. I'm at a loss. Is it that since I quit Zoloft and its (finally!) out of my system that it has changed my thinking, my feelings? Is it that I don't care? Is it that I want the best of both worlds? I have some things to figure out.
Thanks for listening.
You mention you were on Zoloft, I assume it was prescribed.
Im fairly new to "recovery" and I realized in detox im the same guy drunk as i am sober, minus maybe a few of the crazy antics and stupid decisions. After getting help to nix the physical addiction i have found it pretty easy not to drink.
Perhaps your strong cravings are related to an anxiety issue? Ive noticed at the AA meetings i went to a great many recovering alcoholics turned to the bottle to sooth anxiety, either general anxiety or social anxiety. You dont mention why you were on zoloft but ill wager a guess it was for anxiety or depression, or both.
Id strongly recommend you consult with a qualified psychotherapist and a psychologist, and perhaps a counsellor as well to work on a solution to the underlying feeling of unease that you feel would be solved by drinking. If you stopped zoloft without the advice of your doctor you should continue with your prescribed regime immediately, sometimes "cold turkey" on neurotransmitter-oriented drugs can cause serious side effects ranging from brain shocks to severe depression to suicidal ideation.
I do not know you but do not feel you need to become a better person to quit drinking, anyone who tells you so has a unicorn to sell you. If you have done stupid things when drunk, eliminating the alcohol first will allow you to become a better person later. Ditto if anyone in the recovery movement told you to halt your prescribed medication - report their name and support group to your doctor as they may be charged for providing medical advice without a license to do so - and they deserve it because they could be indirectly and accidentally committing manslaughter.
Seek the advice of medical professionals with registered and certified ******** for your psychiatric needs. The support groups, if they are for you, can help you later when you are sounder of mind and more mentally ready for their message and program.