I've been where you are. I was stuck a long time. All my plans to be a better person didn't work. I still drank. When I started to separate myself from the act and started to ask, " why am I doing this right now?" I started making progress. I became just bored with the same old drunk feeling. It served me no purpose. Check out the secular forum and the AVRT thread. I'm a believer and that forum is full of really practice advise. Good luck!