Your description of your house after the kids trashed it sounds scarily like my house, from the forts and painting on the walls and stuff strewn everywhere. And I've got 17 months. They just get into stuff if I'm not up when they're up. I'm sorry you didn't sleep well. I hope you have an easier night. Sleep makes all the difference in my outlook.
Keep telling yourself it was just a dream. You're processing things that have probably long been on your mind but deadened with alcohol until now. It will get better. Everything seemed more intense to me early on because I was finally feeling things instead of stuffing the feelings down. Take time to process them. And be kind to yourself.