Originally Posted by
Flynbuy 
The important question Serenidad is what will work for you!?! Almost two years ago you posted a thread asking what method folks here use. You received a multitude of answers. Fast forward and your question has been refined, but you're still seeking what others do. You are you not them or us! Acceptance, willingness and ready to change - those are the keys our friend jangle on here in front of us every day. It makes not a hoot of a difference what method they use - if it works for you - Just Do It! Find the help you need, this is a deadly disease and the clock runs out for all of us at some point. Hope you find your peace, friend.
Thanks Flynbuy. I really like your post but I wasn't posting here 2 years ago. I had just gotten 5 years of sobriety. I didn't start posting here again (since 2008) until a little over a year ago. Not that it matters...
Anyway, I have dropped my nazi sponsor. She wasn't right for me and frankly I'm not sure AA is right for me. Since going back in FULL force last month, I'm realizing that it causes so much shame and guilt for me.
I am a person who is (unfortunately) driven by FEAR. Fear of "death, institution or jail". AA (at least the meetings in my area) tell me if I am not working their program I will end up dead, in jail or an institution. FEAR!!! That may work for some people but maybe that's the problem for me, I'm trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. The fear is working against me. I need something to "lift me up" and tell me I'm a good person etc. I just registered for Women For Sobriety so I will see how that is.
I attended AA from 2008-2010 and stayed sober but it was out of fear. I was court ordered and was on non-drinking probation. I think it was fear that kept me from away from the drink, not AA. I had to get court slips signed proving I was at an AA meeting back then.
I went on to stay sober from 2010 to almost 2014 without AA & felt happy.
MY MISTAKE: never believing I was an alcoholic in the first place in 2008. I just thought I was a bad drunk driver! Haha. (Not really funny). :-(
Anyway, I decided to have a beer with my husband after 5.5 years of sobriety and fast forward to now and I KNOW I've got a drinking problem and want it out of my life! Forever!!!
Soooo....I am doing some soul-searching on the best method for me. I absolutely LOVE what everyone has said!
I have a head full of AA which really messes me up and causes LOTS OF DOUBTS that I can do this without them.....but I think I will just stick around SR for a while and read etc.
I will find my way. I just order a book that was recommended to me by a friend called Many Roads, One Journey by Charlotte Davis Kasl. It was highly recommended to me.
We shall see...in the mean time I'm gonna stick close to SR and my exercise program.
*Lastly, I am just sharing MY experience with AA. I think it works for some people and has helped many!!! Maybe it's just not for me. If it comes down to AA or misery and death....then I will go back. But for now.......we shall see....
Prayers welcome. :-)