Originally Posted by
Mysusnshine 
After so many times of getting out of AA (from my husband) I have finally gone to my first meeting. It was not at all what I was expecting. I was the only female (other than the meeting host) and felt a little like an outsider. I was even more surprised to see that all but two other members where forced there by the court. I guess I had thought that people that go to these meetings where there on their own willingness to become better. I can say that a couple of them seem to have truly benefited from this program. I left feeling a little mad and disappointed and determined to find a women's group. However after a little more thought I think I'll give this misfit group another shot. My husband was allowed to come to the meeting and was told by other members about a family meeting that happens on Friday nights.
Thank you call for your support I will keep y'all posted on my steps forward.
Meetings are like bars in that every one has it's own atmosphere and a general 'kind' of people that goes. I know of meetings in Cambridge that are full of older academic / bookish types. I also know of ones in Cambridge that tend to be frequented to people who are semi-homeless and live quite a chaotic life despite being sober. There is the young people's one that feels different again. There is also a candlelit meeting in a very lovely book-lined room. My home meeting in the next city has a good mix of ladies and men, religious and not, old and young, working and retired. This is my favourite meeting and arriving there is like stepping into a warm bath. Saying that, I also go to one in another town which is very friendly and sanity inducing.
There are lots of types of meeting. (The person leading the meeting is also a member by the way. It's just one of many ways to do service along with putting chairs out; washing up; ordering book; looking after the money etc. - so there was another female member there). The best thing is to try lots of meetings and find people you can relate to and ask which ones they go to.
I always feel bad for the people forced by court to attend AA. It doesn't no-one any good to be forced into it. You can't force someone to think a certain way, or to get sober when they don't want to. If someone had made me go before I was ready it could easily have done more harm than good. Lucky for me I managed to not get into the kind of trouble that could get me arrested. (Luck though. Just luck. I did some horrible things and hurt people. Courts just don't care about that kind of hurting). Saying that, I have met some amazing people who have told me that was why they first attended, and that it did help them turn their lives around.
Anyway - I hope it didn't put you off too much. Good luck at your next meeting. x