I began drinking when my daughter was 16 and my son 19 and it lasted for about 3 years. And, like you I said 'sorry' so many times, I finally stopped saying it and just let my actions speak. My daughter was absolutely furious with me and didn't really speak to me for awhile. My son was more understanding and forgiving. In the last almost 15 years I have done everything I possibly could to be there in every way possible for my children. We all have very good relationships now. When my daughter had her first child (my first grandchild), I was the one she chose to look after him the first time she had to go out. Serenidad, there will be hope if you work on it today and every day.