"I DON'T believe that I'm powerless over alcohol. I believe all people have the power to stop if they REALLY want to. I definitely believe my life is unmanageable when I drink and I never want to drink again, but it's just too much. I just don't and can't buy into parts of AA.
Some people,like me, lose the power of choice. I worked hard to get that choice back, but it's only one I have the power over and that's the first. The tenth step promises even tell me I have gotten the power of choice back.
Ten years in and there's still parts of AA i don't agree with.
There are some in AA that stand on their pedastal and proclaim AA is the only way and without it a person will die. I don't see it very often, but it happens.
I'd strongly encourage ya, before throwin out the baby with the bath water, to look for a new sponsor.
I'd encourage ya to think about what Carlotta said about your thinking that leads up to your relapses,too.