Originally Posted by
haennie 
Let us know how everything goes in therapy and otherwise, Justin
Other powerful areas that truly work for me to help maintain my sobriety (and my inspirations about life in general) are engaging in physical reality. That was something I detached from and disliked for a good reason in my early childhood... but re-connecting with my physicality, and the physicality of others have always helped me tremendously in my good phases.
So, yeah, I just had my hair done (again) today. It's a really silly thing, but the origin is that I have nice hair that stylists have fancied even when I was a child, and it still grows like weed (good "weed"
). Something I like about myself at least, but I only do when I take care of it these days.
Also, I re-started dancing a couple months ago and I'm really enjoying it. And now it's spring on our hemisphere, so I can get into long distance running again.
The thing I'm trying to convey, Justin, is that we may have gifts, including parts of physical health -- but these won't last forever. The whole idea of enjoying the moment is built on this, I think
I think what I'm reading here is that people like us can get caught up in "thinking" too much. I am definitely guilty of that and it is really weighing me down. I was just about to force myself to go for a run because I don't know what else to do. The rumination of my present situation is reaching a boiling point. Maybe it has to do with this mornings events.
I had to fast last night because I went for a physical and requested bloodwork for vitamin deficiency among a host of other tests, to make sure I am in good health as well as supplementing what I need to. The most challenging part was this mornings coffee. Well to make a long story shorter, I ran into my ex at Starbucks right after my lab work. We had coffee, then went to her place to get our marriage certificate and some other paperwork needed to make some headway on finalizing our divorce. It ended in a slew of insults spilling out onto the street as I left, her yelling at me to go get drunk(this insult stands out amongst the lot of them), and me yelling other choice words back at her. I am usually pretty composed, and laid back but I completely told her how I felt, and the exchange escalated to a yelling match. The children were at school so they didn't have to witness this, but it really makes me think I need to limit contact with my ex. I do not want this type of situation happening around them.
I had to dispatch of a few VERY strong cravings on my way home but I made it! These are the strongest they have been thus far. I'm glad I have this place to come to. I have to go and exercise, I am still steaming!
Sorry if this doesn't make sense, but I had to post.