Today I am six weeks sober and it's been tough. Not tough to not drink, but tough to think about not drinking. I KNOW that I am making the right decision for myself and I've been happy not drinking, but when I think about it sometimes it still makes me sad. I wish it didn't.
And I've been having the craziest dreams. I think they happen mainly when I've been thinking of drinking or just stressed out, but I've woken up POSITIVE that I broke my sobriety. It's not even like I wake up in a cold sweat or anything, but I feel really disappointed in myself. Then I remember it was just a dream and I am STILL disappointed in myself for wanting to drink bad enough that I am dreaming about it.
In other news, despite sounding a little down here, things have been going very well and I've had no problem saying no to the offer of a drink when I've been around it (although I'm still kind of avoiding those situations as best I can). My in-laws were in town and we had dinner with them a few times where I politely declined their invitations to a glass of wine. I mumbled something about having been sick recently (true), but I am sure my MIL will be thinking I must be pregnant. My husband will probably be getting some probing questions soon, but she will have to wait a bit longer on that front
He said a little gossip wouldn't hurt her anyway.