Hi BBF
I never got sober until I accepted the need for change. I had to accept my life needed changes - resl strong irreversible changes.
I had to accept that I would never be the teflon coated drinker I wanted to be...and I had to accept I needed to do a lot more in order for me to stay sober.
I had to take drinking off the table as a viable option for me - for good.
Things can and will get a lot better BBF - all you need to do is decide whether you're really going to go for it this time?
D