Well done. Can you get free counselling through a workplace staff well-being scheme? I got six hours through mine, which was (surprisingly) enough to get me talking and thinking enough to then be able to manage it myself through my own AA 12-step work. (I still have one hour left in reserve which I'll go back for in a couple of months or when I need it).
Good luck. You're completely right. Time for you to give YOU some oxygen. xx