1st truly sober vacation
105 days sober and here I am on my first truly sober vacay. My last attempt at sobriety ended up relapsing on vacay. So here I am again. This time feels completely different. I am on day 3 of vacay and no urge at all to imbibe. It feels good. Kind of liberated is what I feel. I am not obsessing over trying not to drink. The not drinking part is actually feeling natural. I seem to appreciate the small things as a nice walk and the companionship of my pops. Usually he drives me crazy to the point where I want to sedate myself because of his abundance to rattle my nerves. However not this time. His small idiosyncrasies that usually drive me to drink are minor and not effecting my mood. He and I are reflecting a lot of days past, and it's awesome. I have learned a few things I never knew of him. I feel a deep gratification for something I can't put my finger on.
On another note. The last few mornings I have awoke from dreams that I have had about an emotional encounter with a female from my past. Both nights I have awoke to this feeling I used to get when I would be having a crush on someone in high school or on a trip when I would meet a stranger and fantasize about being in love. I find myself wanting Togo right back to sleep to try and rediscover the dream I was immersed in minutes or hours before. The feelings I awoke to felt like I had met a girl and fell for her hard. What is this feeling. Is it a bad emotional catalyst or a deep unresolved feeling from my past? Much love and aloha to all that have helped me and my sobriety. Thank you all!